There aren’t any decent single men left in New York City. This is what everyone keeps telling us. And when Deanna* relocated to the city towards the end of 2021 then it was her turn examine if any truth in the claim. After being single for the first time since his boyfriend, who was with her for three years separated from her on Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. At the same time that a Facebook group called Is You Dating the Same Guy NYC appeared as an ideal follower. The group had a very thorough survey prior to screening and guidelines for the community which served as a barrier for entry. The group was comprised of 43,000 people. Deanna was intrigued, so she enrolled.
The community
The community was created with the very specific intention of helping women confirm whether their romantic prospects were seeing other people – was established in the month of March 2022. In fact, nearly every big US city currently has a similar forum and the rules for all are clear: Anyone is allowed to make posts anonymously, there’s no doxxing or sharing sensitive data, nor can screen shots be removed from the group. No bullying, no victim blaming or blaming others for the actions of another.you can find more here https://datingfortodaysman.com/ from Our Articles Don’t ever tell a person that they’ve seen on the list. Following the scandal of West Elm Caleb, one man with whom a number of women in New York shared negative dating experiences and connected the dots online, it seemed many women were searching for a method of sifting out other people who were like him. As one TikTok user had to say in the moment This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
That’s what this group had become before Deanna joined. Each edition of Are We Dating the Same Guy acts as a centralized spot for women who need love advice or make a statement about the men with whom they’ve had negative dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is the practice of sending other women to lure them through social media, has also become a norm. It’s not difficult to fall down a down a rabbit hole of screenshotted Hinge profiles, tales of failed hookups, and memes that discuss the problems of modern day dating. The most well-known posts include photos of a man with his first name, asking whether anyone has ever matched or dated the person in question. Emojis with red flags are a common glimpse on uninspiring but ominous posts warning people of a former lover or a bad experience that are usually accompanied by a downward arrow, and the terrifying wording See comments for more info.
Online dating has dominated our lives in recent years A recent study revealing that around 39 percent of heterosexual couples meet their spouse online. So it’s natural that the romantic aspect of romance would adapt to the digital age. Instead of having a conversation with small groups of acquaintances at a bar or discussing issues with colleagues, we’re seeking the counsel of 43,000 women who have experienced similar – and in some cases precisely the same experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie Another group member. Not to say that there’s not certain privileges, but it was certainly helpful for me to reconsider my perspective on dating. There’s no competition in a way with women who aren’t, and instead holding males to a higher standard than I had before.
It’s obvious to me, however, that certain behaviors which is encouraged and supported in Are We the Dating the Same Guy could be to be considered a red flag by potential suitors. Photos, photos of private conversations, and screenshots shared without the consent of the other party or knowledge are numerous. People dig up social media profiles on a near daily basis. And it’s not that difficult for a person to be placed in the spotlight. Even though Deanna loves being part of the group, she’s got a few reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she admits. But I’m thinking you’ll get into a situation where it becomes an echo chamber of men have been pushing us around for so long that we’re ready to give it back.
We continue to live in the patriarchal system
We are still an environment of patriarchy. Therefore, until we’re truly equal on the internet, these interactions will have different reverberations depending on the background of each individual. In the end, could a group like this truly be active empowerment on one side on the other hand and be a source of reprehensible and inhumane on the other? Are We Dating the Same Guy? The same guy is hyperlocal and social, only beneficial for individuals who reside and date in the city the group is located in. The women, as well as the guys they discuss could be your neighbor, coworker, friend, relatives, or even the most last Hinge match. But there’s a lack of personalization that occurs when operating on the internet, which makes everything feel like the game. It’s not an unreasonable idea to say that this could be a criticism to the dates in both groups. This is particularly true when the details of private chats, private messages and even photos can be shared without knowledge or consent, sometimes for pure entertainment.